"Hmm the inner rivithead is screaming too hard- need abrasion- the goth is saying- bah darkness is darkness- either way... *mopes* It's always darkness- the sweet yet slightly effemminate energy of it, that keeps you safe- surrounds you and obscures you. " stolen from my xanga.

Bought a gothic beauty magazine (I'm giving into goth styled capitalism- oh no) in addition to a few new cds- I've bought about 5 cds in the past 2 weeks- NIN, The Downward Spiral; Covered in goth & Gothic Vampires from hell(the last one sucked- cheap ass ambiance- not even really dark... however the first one was a good one- cover songs that are really well done- Nightshift, People are strange, Carnival ); Garbage, Bleed like me (quite good- a departure from their norm, but still quite enjoyable); Monofader, Frost (oh my darkness- almost as good as namnambulu and I got it for under $10 ;P); and The birthday massacre, violet (I've failed to give a listen yet- because I'm in love with Monofader right now- yeah that good)--- I've got a few albums to really add to my laptop... Oh yeah, I bought my first Ankh... There is a story as to why I never owned one previously- I knew it was symbol of life, something which I didn't really feel inside myself previously, but the last few years- seem to have honestly energized with this life energy, and it's like the first time beauty strikes you- as you stand transfixed and motionless- staring, and realizing the fragility and momentary truth... ah just read the the blurbs below. The single life is great by the way.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
(beauty) {attempt at poetry}
of shattered and dieing endings....
of mistarts and inescapable failure....
of etherall vocals and wailing
amidst textured music
soothing and washing away
that finality of mortality
and broaching upon a moment of eternity

of woe and best intentions
of loss and human strife
churning through the ages
washing upon time's shores
that finality of mortality
and broaching upon a moment of eternity

Lie the fragments shattered
yet always inescapely
truely surreall
beauty

----
We are surrounded, but will never surrender
there is no defeat or victory
just a fleeting moment of glory and hope